DEVELOPING A COOPERATIVE PARENTING PLAN
		The Law Offices of Winifred Whitaker Melrose Law Center 400 South Melrose Drive, Suite 102 Vista, CA 92083-6632 Tel: (760) 726-6777 Fax: (760) 726-6781 letters@divorce4you.com
	Finding new ways to resolve disagreements over child custody issues takes time and a commitment of both mother and father. Your children need both their parents. Agencies such as Family Court Services or family counseling agencies may be helpful in family reorganizations. PLEASE CONSIDER THE FOLLOWING: Sit down and identify the needs of your children. Think of your role as parents, not as spouses. Try to separate feelings of anger and hurt so they do not interfere with parental decisions regarding your child(ren)'s best interest. Review what you have done together as parents that worked. Develop an arrangement that continues this plan where it was successful and provides continuous, ongoing contact with both parents. Put it in writing. Think in units of time -- work, school, vacation. Try to share the responsibility for your children's care around these natural transitions, as well as other responsibilities such as dental, medical appointments, etc. Establish a pattern that works and follow it. Be flexible as situations change. Do not insist on a "50-50" division. Communicate regarding important events in your child's life or in your own life that may affect your children. Develop a way to talk over problems between you and the other parent without involving the children. Be sure to share the "high points" and successes that the other parent may not have seen. Anticipate change and plan for it. Your child's growth will require you to do so. Work to adapt your plan to your child's needs. Problems are bound to arise when things go "wrong;" focus on "what is wrong," not "who is to blame." Bury the past and deal primarily with today and tomorrow. Try to consider everyone's needs.